And everytime I'm just staring at the same blank wall, again and again

I hate this feeling of helplessness that I always come across. Now matter how many days, weeks, months or years go by I always find myself hitting the same wall over and over again. I mean, how many times have I wrote about this problem here? Millions, perhaps. So many times that I'm surprised that people haven't given up on me.

I need to do art, I want to, and then when I get that feeling that makes me go, "Yeah I can do it!" I just fall back into the same lazy pattern that I've gotten accustomed to. Where I just can't be bothered to pick up a pencil, let alone look at a blank page. Why can't I just keep that enthusiastic part of myself running for more than just a day? What happened to the time where I just loved to draw and kept doing it day after day? I've always dreamed of doing art, of becoming a good artist one day, but something is holding me back...

Truth is, I really don't know what that "something" is.

Is it because of the lack of tutor? Guidance? Someone to help me each step of the way? Sure I did a hell of a lot more art when I was doing it for my GCSE's, and did many pictures when I was applying for uni. Or is it my lack of self-confidence? Skill? What the hell is holding me back? D: Whenever I listen to music or watch a film I find myself daydreaming, yet I never seem to put my ideas to paper even though they're still stuck in my head. Why? Why can't I just draw?

I wish that someone was there to help me with this, to point me in the right direction, and actually help me overcome this once and for all. I'm sick and tired of this feeling... But I don't want to force myself into it either like I did before. 

Wow I sound like such an idiot.

Commission: Under the Moon

Commissions info: Click here

Was commissioned by Miss Shaw to do her a traditional painting of a peaceful fairy sitting under the moon. She wanted the colours pink and purple to be dominant in the piece, so I went for harmonious colours to create that tranquil setting~ I really enjoyed doing this, as it had been ages since I've drawn a fairy.

Artist  © Liz Owen
Characters © Miss Shaw
Tools: Watercolour pencils, acrylic paint for the clouds and moon, and biro for the lines

Commission: Harry Halloween

I've only just realised that I haven't shown you my finished commission that I did for the lovely Ms Yvonne! Well, here it is:

Under Con.

Thought that I might as well make some use of this blog, so it's currently gonna' be under construction while I make it pretty.

A little experiment

I was looking through the brief today and wanted to do some experiments with some pictures off dA (stock ones obviously). I am not sure what I'll do for the "Enviroment" project, so this is just a little test.

Before

After 

Stock image provided by Burtn

Update

Okay so today my laptop really has messed up; Google Chrome isn't loading and neither is Word and my Pictures.. Kinda sucks seeing as it's so damn slow as well :/ I can't wait to get my MAC properly set up!

BUT there is a problem with my new mac; my tablet doesn't work on it ;_; I guess my tablet is just too old as it only works on vista :/ fml. Eurgh. So I guess that when this laptop dies I can no longer do digitally art until I get the money to save up for a new tablet >_<"

I guess there is a good side to it though, because then I could focus more on traditional art instead of wasting my time in front of a computer screen :/ Still a bit annoyed though >_<"

Anyways, here's a sneak preview of my commission~ I've finally finished the sketch! Just a few more lil' details need to be added like on the book ^^

Inspiration Board

So I'll start off with one of my first posts with an inspiration board; a collection of images, music and artists that inspire me.

1. ImagineFX Magazine
I just love this magazine. Ever since I got my hands on it last year (or the year before) in Feb I immediately subscribed to it. Even though I'm not at that level to achieve the same level of skill in those step-by-step tutorials I try my best to look at them. I'm amazed by all of the artwork in there, and I hope to be featured one day!

2. Chinese/Oriental styled art
Since I delved deeper into Chinese culture back when I was doing A Level Product Design I fell in love with it. I just loved how artists made all of their pictures seem "magical" with the flowing robes, beautiful hairstyles and delicate features.
Such artists include Guangjian Huang, Heise, Qianyu, Phoenixlu,

3. Anime
I just love the style, and I love how people have developed this style into a more 3D form (much like the picture I've shown). Even though I don't really draw in this style anymore I still admire it, and I love how much detail is paid to their clothing and movement.
Artists: Shilin, Laverinne, Jiuge, Emperpep, Kaoru-chan,

4. Fantasy
No matter how many people tell me that I should move away form fantasy I never will, because I can't. I just love the stories that a picture could hold and the different points of view on the fantasy world.
Artists: Dark Spider, Amy Brown, Victoria Frances, Kuoma,

5. Angel Sanctuary
Seems pretty obvious: the artwork is beautiful! Pretty unusual storyline as well of love and fate.

6. Bride of the Water God
The amount of detail in each page is breathtaking.

7. Reading
I just love how I can enter a whole new world as I open a book. It kinda annoys my family as well when I completely blank them out as I read.

8. Gyaru fashion
This fashion is so so amazing! Just shows that you could tweak your appearances without the use of plastic surgery, and you could become a whole new person. They have such a good fashion sense and I love how much attention they pay to their appearances!

9. Music
Music is the reason why I work well; without it I just stare into space with boredom. I always find more and more artists to add to my list of favourites that I haven't really got a particular favourite anymore! However I will always listen to Lady GaGa <3

10. DeviantART
And last of all but definitely not least; DeviantART. If I didn't find it during my GCSE years I never would've thought that I wanted to pursue art and design as a career. I wouldn't have been able to improve in my drawing skills, nor would I have the determination to keep on going through thick and thin. I have met so many people on there and seen so many inspiration art pieces that I'm constantly amazed whenever I go onto the site.

The Pros and Cons of Blogging

I never really thought about having a blog for my art and Graphic Design first, because I thought that it was a) a waste of time and b) I don't really know how to use one.
Well after today's critic session I decided that maybe an art blog would be easier to use to jot down everything instead of using a sketchpad. As much as I love using sketchpads, all of mine are really cluttered with random pieces flying out everywhere. To put it simply; I'm a very messy person, so a blog might help me become more organised.

The only thing that is wrong with blogging is that I would have to spend loads to get everything printed out, and there might be a limit to how I want things laid out.

So this is what you'll expect from me on this blog:
* WIPs of my art as well as my graphic design pieces
* Sketches and experiments of what I learnt from tutorials.
* My final illustrations, graphic designs, photos... Everything to do with art.

And basically anything else that relates to my university work or from my free time.

That's all for now.